So…you and the kids have been invited to a beautiful formal wedding and the first thing you think of is, “what will I wear”?  The next thing you think of is “I hope little Johnny behaves at the table”.  Yes, there are rules of etiquette for dress at weddings and it is wise to do your research well ahead.  It may not be as strict at the recent Royal Wedding of Will and Kate, but showing up in a strapless black evening dress for a “daytime” wedding is definitely a major faux pas.  It goes without saying that there are “always rules of etiquette” when it comes to dining.

            The real dilemma for many will come when they sit down to dine at that enormous round table that seats ten or more persons, none of whom usually are acquainted, and are faced with an array of stemware, utensils, and plates that while quite elegant and useful, are more than daunting to most.

            So let’s talk tines first.  It is important to know that there are different types of silverware in a complete set, all with a specific purpose.  When it comes to the “fork”, there is the salad fork, dinner fork, dessert fork, cocktail (or appetizer) fork, escargot fork, fish fork, and probably a few more that aren’t used very often, such as the “pickle fork”, “ice cream fork”, “serving fork”….but I digress.  Let’s stick to what we might see at the wedding table where you will be dining.  Most forks (and we are talking American style dining) are married to a knife.  In other words, a salad fork on the left will complement the salad knife on the right; the dinner fork on the left will complement the dinner knife on the right, the fish fork on the left will…well you get the idea.

            However, there are exceptions…and one would be the “Dessert Fork”.  It is the smaller fork (usually the size of the salad fork or smaller) that sits above your plate facing West and below your “Dessert Spoon” (that’s another article), which faces East.  The “Cocktail Fork” (miniature three-tined fork) would be another exception; and just in case you are served that deliciously awkward plate of fancy snails, otherwise known as Escargot, you will have an “Escargot Fork” (two- tined fork) that is married to the “Escargot Tongs”.  Simply squeeze the tongs to open the bowl of the tong, surround and secure the shell of the escargot, and pierce the small meat inside the shell with your convenient Escargot Fork. 

            Courses are brought out in the order in which your silverware is placed.  If the farthest out utensil is a soup spoon, you can expect soup as the “First Course”.  That utensil will be removed when you are finished (place it on the soup service plate when done) and the next “farthest outside utensils on the left and right of your plate) will be the next ones to use with the upcoming course.

            Jonnie Fox Flanagan is Founder and Director of The Magnolia School of Etiquette and certified by The American School of Protocol, Atlanta, GA.